Youth sports parents have a unique set of responsibilities and opportunities when it comes to their children’s development. They want their child to succeed at their sport(s), and they want their child to be have fun playing. Enabling both sometimes feels overwhelming. So many of today’s youth sports parents unintentionally and unwittingly put players under more pressure to succeed. If you’re interested in improving your child’s experience in sports and also making your own experience more enjoyable then the book being reviewed has got you covered.
The book “The Sideline: A survival Guid for Youth Sports Players” by Alan Stein Jr and Rich Czeslawski was my reading choice for a recent day of vacation. It took me just a couple of hours to read, and that was with me taking some time to really let some things soak in.
The super short version of the book is that youth sports should be fun and player focused. Being a good sports parent makes that possible and it makes everything more enjoyable for everyone. Then it offers some ideas about how to be one of the positive youth sports parents that rock!
Youth Sports Coaches
As a coach, if I could convince my principal to spend an extra $15 per player and buy one of these books for each one then I’d do it! I’d have that stack of books and send one home with each of the players that made the team. I’d ask the parents to read them. Require the players to read them. And I’d photocopy the contract and require all parties to sign it to be officially a part of the team. Honestly, the topics covered are valuable enough that i might just buy 15 copies and send them home with each player each year and just ask that they be returned during the first week.
Youth Sports Parents
A parent myself, i think understanding the message and research behind the book can be very freeing. Players perform better when parents support them. They play worse when those same parents unwittingly make things harder or become a distraction! I know I’ve been one of the less stellar youth sports parents at times in the past. But this book gives ideas and guidelines about how to be both supportive of your child AND help them to develop into awesome future adults.
This is one of those books that just kinda makes you want to be better. For example, after reading this book I bumped into my basketball daughter in the hallway. I took 15 seconds to tell her that i was proud of all the effort she’s been putting in. I didn’t mention her skills, or that i was impressed with her play, or how many points she scored in the last game. Nope – just proud of her that she was be intentional about putting in effort on her own. I swear, this teenage child who is too cool to smile immediately got a huge smile and thanked me. I could have given her a million lessons and plans for how to get better, but that’s not what kids need from their parents. Kids want to know we love them, that we believe in them, and are proud of them.
Get Game Day Off on a Strong Vibe
As an example of some actionable rules to follow for happy players and happy parents. The authors recommend the roughly sticking to the following four statements prior to practice and games:
- Have fun.
- Play Hard.
- Be coachable – Listen to your coaches.
- Be a good teammate.
Now, that doesn’t sound earth shattering I know! But it lets your young player know what things are important. Everything else besides those things just kind of take care of themselves.
Post Game Conversations Made Easy
And after the game… here’s great followup questions you can ask if they feel right:
- Did you have fun?
- Did you give your best effort?
- Were you coachable?
- Where you a great teammate?
Every one of those questions has the opportunity to let your player share how they feel. What did THEY experience? You might be surprised what they share when the questions are not colored with your opinions.
Asking those simple questions lets them know that the four topics are things that are important to you. In turn those same topics begin to be important to them. It’s so simple, but so powerful. As a bonus, this detours around many “ride home” conversations that sometimes go off the rails or go “on and on” and aren’t really that valuable anyway.
It’s worth remembering:
Recommendation
I hope from this write up you can tell that I like the book! For $15 it’s priced right. I read the whole thing on a lazy afternoon taking my sweet time – and that tells me it’s easy reading! For those who care about the topic which is basically every parent and youth coach you’ll stay engaged throughout. If you’re a coach or you’re one of the millions of youth sports parents looking to maximize your player’s experience then I highly recommend you get a copy – and read it!
Best of luck with your seasons and the young people you are guiding!
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